I am a Muslim or so I’ve been told all my life.  I know the kalima (pretty sure of that) and occasionally actually offer 5 prayers a day (GASP!).

I fast during Ramadan and yes on and off sometimes on Sha’ban etc because I have seen my father do so or because I’ve been told to.  I have performed Umrah and Hajj and know nothing about the significance of what it means to be who I am…

Everything I do, is because I have been told to.  Not because I know what it means and what it stands for.

I am a Muslim because that’s what I’ve been told I am, as are my parents and their parents before them.  My family has always been Muslim because I’ve been told we are descended from Saa’daats (descendants of the Ahl-Al Bait May the blessings of Allah be upon them all).  But I don’t know what that means.

And it has to mean something.  It isn’t just about being born, living and dying.  There is a purpose to it.  I am distinct from so many, yet so similar.  But what those differences and similarities are or should mean, I do not know.  I am at that point where now something inside me is screaming with discontent and chaos.

I hope this blog will allow me to learn what it means to be Muslim, not because I have been told, but because I know…

1 Comment »

  1. asqfish said,

    Alhamdollillah! may your search be fruitful!

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